Heavy heart

I am trying to be productive today. Words this morning from my spouse indicated that he is expecting some productivity today. We have a few issues come summer time when he is working and he perceives my work to be all play. It is a common issue between working men and stay at home women. I don't let it get to me anymore. I am struggling to get moving and get things done. Part of it is due to the 2 nights of Wii Fit I have done and my inability to move my arms...or legs for that matter, but most of it is due to the fact that my heart feels like it weighs 40 pounds inside my chest. I have been catching up on the outside world today and it seems that while my head was in the sand at the lake, I missed out of a lot of misery by other. Well...I did not actually MISS it, but it was happening. One particular story has me beside myself. One of those "it could have happened to me" stories. My heart aches for this precious, faithful family and the pain they are experiencing. My heart is also so very touched by their amazing faith. Here, in their greatest trial, they are looking for God's purpose and are open to it's teaching. I am in awe and inspired by them. It has me wondering, would my knees hurt less if I were on them more? I need to step up my Bible time, my prayer time, my teaching God's story of love to my children...don't we all? Today I will pray for my friends and I will hug my children tightly knowing, despite one's "unique issues" that try me from time to time, I am blessed beyond measure by these intelligent, healthy, mostly happy children that doctors thought would never be and at times I feared they would not be as well. God is so good and so big and so mysterious, but He loves us fully and completely and He never promised we would not experience pain, in the words of Nichole Nordeman..."the promise was when everything failed...we'd be held."